Here, Again

Groundhog day
(oh, here we go...)
let me know if you see a shadow.

I was hoping for an early spring,
but I can see in your eyes
that won't be happening.

Would've settled for a rainy day,
but feelings are typhoons
when we're acting this way.

How did we get back here again?

Living in the shadow of a feeling,
fleeting,
and now just a memory.

We used to find comfort in the simple things
but now that those days are gone,
does anything still remain?

Maybe we started at the finish line
and with nowhere to go
we were wandering aimlessly.

Knowing

What now?

I can't help but wonder while
taking stock of the love
that should've been forever
if not for my mortal meddling;

I see it written in the stars,
hear it in the wind.

It leaves a void
never to be filled by another,
the heaviest empty.

Feelings turned phantom
turned haunting,
but maybe I'm not meant to
let this go:
my bones told me so.

I've never felt anything
so far outside myself,
this knowing.

And if it turns out
I have the power to project onto the stars
and I've been seeing my own signs all along,
I'd be as mystified as you.

But I know this to be true.

Spit

You spit my poems back at me
like hearing them in your voice
would change their meaning.

I liked it more when you
held your body against me,
instead of my words.

When I finally made you writhe
on my tongue,
you tasted sweeter than honey.

Then you climbed on top
and spit on me...

Prolonged Entanglement

At first,
I wanted to be in your debt,
grasping for any reason
to prolong our entanglement.

I was enthralled to a ghost,
a slave to your memory.

I'm done bracing myself
for your whiplash.

I'm letting go of
the idealized version of you
crafted in my mind.

I'll acknowledge and accept
this lingering unknown,
and walk away.

The Light That's Dying To Go Out

A pain unspoken hides behind
the light that's dying to go out.

An alluring flame that
burns the brightest
and I'm helplessly drawn in;

want to drown in that light.

Nine Apologies

I'll let your silence fulminate,
all the things you've already said,
and leave for the dust;
accepting what is
as reality.

Still,
you stick to my bones,
I can't just shake you off.
And two things can be true at once;
no one truth holds more power.

Reverence is remedy
but needs to cut both ways.

We can't take turns enduring.
A thousand smalls cuts divided
is still too many.
All the blood we're spilling is old,
a deeper crimson,
in need of release.

Gut-wrenching love:
a painful devotion.

I won't cause you any more suffering.

Porcelain

My past actions are a raging bull,
the present is porcelain.
Your heart needs two hands
and I'd just as soon sever mine
for you.
Say the word.
Say any word.
Please talk to me.

Time Lapse

Clever drawings
picking bones

Oh yeah, today
I saw your ghost

Feels like letting go
Feels like comatose

Today I
saw your ghost

feels like I'll
die alone

feels like
I don't know

it was just a ghost
years ago

thither soul

thither soul
onward
looking out
seek not within
seek only without
know no limits
know no foes
know no folly
know no woes

thither soul
outward
never look within
for if you seek trouble
know where it brews
if you seek to know
understand you never will

thither soul
I love you
for you know no sin

Disarticulation

Six degrees removed
seethed, severed from the bone.
I feel the claws dig in.
This time there's no time
to discuss repercussions;
amputations abound.