Portable

Humiliation ritual complete,
I'll lay in wait for any desperate soul
to slide my way.

As it stands,
I'm without purpose
floating on down the river
alone.

Hungry Eyes

Starving eyes
watering at the thought
of feasting on your sight.

I'm so shallow in my cravings,
long for nothing more
than your flesh;

a carnal desire I refuse to disown.

Distilled

I'm asking for something, practically begging,
for what I don't know yet.

Drain the blood,
maybe there's something to this constant letting.

Brody says to revel in this to find the answers.

I'll take a number with my thumb up on the side of the road
and pray defeat finds me first.

I'm at the end of wasting time,
is this what I came for?

Spit me out, do anything.
Do anything. 

I know I'll burn before you end my suffering.

I'm waiting for a signal in the sky I know will never come.
Craning my neck,
swallowing wonder in the meantime.

Maybe now's the time,
drive out in the middle of the night.
Black on black,
I'm finding answers in the meantime.

Hate to know you burned me like the sun so many times.

Is this what we amount to?

Hate to think we lost everything just waiting around.
Are we more than a highway
and words spoken to the moonlight?

Every passing day is time lost to hesitation.
And I'm not ashamed of anything.
I think you know everything about me.
Read me like a book
and that makes this so much worse...

2AM Bars

I think I'm trying to release something,
bear with me.

Tell me this, do you think you see me?

Feel like maybe I've been
a little dead these past few months.

Where's my pulse been
when you blow right passed me?

Such a lovely serenade
but you act like cyanide.

KEY CHANGE 

such a surprise...
You're holding me by a string,
yeah, what a surprise.

I've been holding on to something,
eyes on the prize.

Burning Plastic

My wings melted.

I'm trying to piece together puddles of
roasted memories and every drop was me
at some point in time.

The sun is red-hot with regrets of hesitation.

I daren't blink,
staring right into your blinding light.

Can you take ownership of
the sweltering excitement you leave
in your wake?

Am I getting too close?

Are your walls too high
to even cast shadows on my forgotten wings?

Every breath tastes like burning plastic
and I can't make excuses
for the taste anymore.

I flew too close and somehow
never saw it coming.

Green Light

Finding the line between
love and something else,
I think I see the hesitation
to commit to the unknown.

Even clear paths are blurry
on overcast days
and I understand how it's hard
to see through the haze of past happenstance.

Trauma is a lens that
manifests differently for everyone
and rosy tints leave flags up
for great consternation.

Take a breath, assess for threats.

What's real will always manifest
in more ways than one.

Watch for signs, read the lights.

I'd like to think I'm on the factual side
of history in the making, but
it's a fool's errand to assume I'm always right.
So I'll sit tight and wait for you to decide.

I'm on a two-way street,
waiting for the green light.

Resurrection

You say you want to see me, but
photography was never my lens
I'm hiding behind these words like
I'm touching on something deep
when all I care to say is that
I'm feeling you some way AND
I hope that you feel me too
despite everything surrounding you

I was never really one to take the lead
I did a hard thing, I let you see this part of me
I usually hide behind the shadows of harder times passed
the coalescence of futures burning in real time
and we burned brighter than setting suns
eclipsing into memories

and yeah, 

this shot's just for me
sinking like capsules buried inside a dream
I never knew anything before you thought of me
just one night I'm resurrecting

Blood Moon

Find me at the full moon party
drinking until I remember
the thoughts I can't escape
always catch me in the end.

I can't see your intentions
in the moon's illumination.

And who's to say what you mean
when words allude you too.

I could ask more questions
but I'm tongue-tied at the sight of you,
basking in the secondary glow.

You know your eyes are the perfect blue
to get lost in too.
I'd come up for air if I realized
I hadn't taken a breath in days.

Maybe I wasn't meant for the sun,
we're shining just as bright anyway.

Tell me when our curvatures align.
We could pool our gravity together,
our masses are bound to collide.

Gas Station Slot Machines on Milwaukee

Flickering lights and the fumes
all the people passing by
fucking about with their lives
today is another day
down the drain
today is another day
more of the same
fucking about, time passes by
still spinning from last night
feel the hydraulics give out,
am I the spade?
the fix is in
it's all a fool's game anyway
just watching the lights flicker
fucking on

today is another day

On the Line

Love on the line
leave me hanging by a thread
bending rules like truths
we'll never make it to the end
I've got something on my mind
you've got nothing instead
dangling right in front of me
like your love is a threat

Explora

Thought Dora'd agree
before she approached shit so rationally.
She's shooting mezcal so naturally,
hanging on my every word
especially the absurdities.
She just keeps saying
let's just see.
Friend of a friend
but no friend to me.

Dora please,
leave me be.
Somethings just aren't meant to be.

Casting Stones

Ash broke off into butterflies
fluttering in the wind
trying to make it about where I've been,
but eyes straight ahead.

Maybe I have a plan now,
who's to say?

Maybe I'm the Great I Am,
but always black again.

Don't call me anything.

I'm simply moved,
carving my own path.
Just exchanging lines for time,
I think I'm going under.

Oh, here we go again,
call it Kalypso.

Slow down.

Sometimes
we never made it anywhere at all.

Gasping

Something's gotta give.
Praying something beats my
itchy trigger finger begging for answers
in this sea of silence.

I'm gasping for words.

Rye Whiskey

Tonight I'll praise the gods that be;
rye whiskey dreams
bleeding into my reality.

Pray that I never see the sun again,
heaven met earth and she's right in front of me.

I know that it's by design when
you remind me you won't be mine.
But still
our worlds collide from time to time,
and that's just fine.

You're just setting the scene for
rye whiskey dreams
bleeding into my reality.

At Best

Born blue, divine and devoid.

I'm leaving feeling for meaning
and never anything I want.

Asking myself too many questions and
finding answers in the empty spaces
my mind's creating,
even memory is leaving me.

Another day of violence
fabricating satisfaction,
another thing to surrender a later day.

Put on your Sunday best.
Another day at best, at best...

Alabaster Rind

Chipping away at your facade
cracks begin to form.
I wanna see right through your
alabaster rind.
Show me that beating heart baby,
I've got a gentle touch
and can hold it just right.
I fear I'm flying so close to the sun
I'll crystalize,
so when the taste of your skin leaves me paralyzed,
I'll take the passenger side
and let the sparks ignite.

Weary Bones

This week has been a dizzying clusterfuck of
semi self-inflicted wounds.
Please, let me rest my weary bones;
I've aged out of your target demographic
and just want to be alone.

Fragile Mind

The gateway.

A random occurrence,
pure circumstance.
I was an open wound,
and you were around.

I blame my curiosity;
    the gate!

After all this time,
I'd forgotten the power of
The Gateway (in all her glory!);
an opening.

This is a beginning,
this is the beginning... 

But you're never giving in,
even after slight hesitation.
And I accept the terms so hastily.
Remember something forgotten for so long...

Is life worth escaping?

I'm giving up, I'm giving in
after slight hesitation;
I'm yours for the taking.
Never once did I question
a stranger's intention.

Never once did I question
a stranger's intention?
Fuck.

We fade to black just the same.

Trapping Season

Doubt plagues me like fresh fog,
or has this always been here?
Looming just below the surface
creeping in slowly
until finally overtaking my sight.
I can't seem to find my way out...

You always loved setting the traps;
tying the line, staking it into the ground.
Such a methodical creature,
you would wander for hours to finish your kill.

Some secrets are better kept hidden,
and I'll be better off stumbling in the fog
blind to the imminent ritual.

My Love, will you take me down easy?
Do you promise to make it clean?

Strong Man

Just wanted to belong,
feel the pains of dawn.
Call yourself a man, but
past catches you strong.
If you feel the pain you speak
settle down, let the roads weep.
Everything isn't in your path,
tide settles, finds a streamline.
Special days hang in the balance,
grieve them one by one.

Spool

Am I finally seeing
or simply unraveling?

Finally seizing control,
a destiny so fitting of a poor, wayward soul.

Confusing dreams with you again,
I'm holding on to something
at least I think...

There's always blood on your hands,
and sometimes you have to let go.

I'm too scared to check my hand for the truth

Half-cocked

Feelings wayside
words landing, not quite right.
Sometimes there's more than meaning,
something holding me back tonight.
I've got words loaded, half-cocked.
I've been picking and choosing,
losing sight.

High Dive

Certified, high dive
got a feeling this'll be a long ride
tucking my tail and spitting fire
shame only got me so far before.
I'm exorcising tongue demons
regurgitating any old thought tonight.
Meet me by the wayside,
let's get lost in a dream and
slide our bodies together.
Can't hide my sleeve anymore and
I guess I'm sharing my feelings now.
Sometimes alone is alright, but never tonight.
Rather lose sight than lose this light.

Prehistoric Thoughts

Fluttering by the big rocks
this will probably mess it all up, but
my prehistoric thoughts are on a rampage
begging to get caught tonight.

I've been sitting on the wire,
almost patiently,
but never quite right.

We're at the interlude and
my thoughts keep flooding back to you.

Is this a pattern worth exploring?

Every inch of me is calling out to you,
begging please.

I'll collect all the little pieces,
tell me when I got this just right.

Parallel Lines

Screeching down the line,
whistle trees distracting
from impending separation
as we approach Belmont.

Tonight felt like forever
in the best way, and maybe
sometimes goodbye is just a comma;
I beg for more commuters to protest
our disconnection.

Maybe I missed your line
this time.

Maybe I missed something in the way you say
this is me
and looked back like you had so much more to say.

But not this time.

I think I'm reading all the lines
and hesitating.

Lunch

Regulating our chaos,
my nervous system spazzes out
when you're around.

Your sexy laser eyes demolish me;
I'm leaking, ruining the hardwood floor.

UTBs

Maybe I'm out of reach when
you pull up a chair to where we used to be,
because our used-to-be's aren't relevant anymore,
we're a used-to-be dinosaur
wanting not having, faking the signs
of what we ought to be;
we're watching separate moons retaliate
accordingly,
humiliation in overtime.

A Little Taste

Who's to say who's to blame
when we're fighting each other off
waiting for the epiphany,
naked boundaries crossed.

I don't know what to say
you're keeping my tongue occupied
your body tastes like glue
tastes like you
and a little taste is all it takes...

I forget the world around you.

I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to say,
ain't it funny how
I don't know what to say anymore.
Set the tone with your monotone laugh;
I don't know what to say anymore.

All the lights just fade to black.
Leave us in the dark every night.

Now part the seas,
now pray the dead will stay that way.

I remain unconvinced that you
could ever really see me.

Now curl those toes.

Tonight is all we have left,
I'm parting tides, can you see?

I forget the world exists around you.

Bodily Lies

Ever moving goalposts,
I'm dizzy and directionless.
Shut your mouth and show me
what you want.

Explore me.

Body language leaves
more questions than answers and
my attention is at your beck and call.

I'm reaching a limit, maybe,
and suddenly this is everything.

Intentions on full display,
I'm holding back on account of
future miscalculations.

My body wants
every.
part.
of.
you.

I swear,
there must be something here.

Mountains and Valleys

Trespassing boundaries
my weakness on display tonight
I'm calling out like I might
have something more to offer.

Echoes striking mountainside
sound an awful lot like silence.
I may be calling out but
all you'll hear are preemptive goodbyes.

Binding Agents

Watched you change
right before my eyes,
no telling who you'll be tonight.

Wish I could say this is by design,
but maybe, I'm a mess from time to time.
And that needs to be alright.

I'm clean, but I've been dirty.
I've seen the sun and let it shine,
but find myself alone at night.

My bones call out for warmth
in the dark, never satisfied.

This twilight irritation
is occasionally scratched, but not addressed.
Perhaps there's something to this predilection,
an itch untouched, intact
undamaged by my growing self-doubt.

This rawness that we feel
is unscathed by growing consequence;
unmatched, unhinged.
Let's take off all the doors tonight,
no holding back.

Show the world what we can feel.

They need an asterisk to describe
the feeling that we share
it's undefined, too specific to specify.

We're the binding agent
and that's alright.

Love that you can think you've won this time.

Write my name.

I'm not trying to be anything undignified,
simply existing in my own mind.

Write this down to signify
something, anything.

I'm left revelating alone tonight.

Dancing Shoes

Biblical indignation:

she's in all denim and my mind strays
to the sidelines.

The beginning of the end
collides with eternity tonight.

Someone's dancing in my shoes again.

Fuckboy Emergency

amen.
come a little closer
rain or shine
don't need you to be mine
my demons come out at night
pacified, actualized
the state of our relations
short lived, never justified
tell me anything I haven't heard before
and I'll be yours, forevermore.
she's a virgo and
I can't let go
cross-eyed/tongue-tied,
this is an emergency!
I've never been able to say no.
I'd let her cut me open
just to see my insides.
This is an emergency!
and she knows,
leaves me bleeding out...

It's Okay

Reasons aside, it's all okay.
Sometimes we need to
be the darkness to see the light.
Sometimes we move too slowly,
get stuck on the outside.
But it's okay, it's okay
you're on the inside anyway.
Can I see your dark?
Can I see your light?
I see you hiding, all the lies.
But when I see you shining, oh what a sight!
Don't you know, with your teardrop eyes,
you can still see everything and
it's okay to cry.
It's okay to cry.
I know it's hard, I promise you'll be fine.
Lean into me, I'll find you every time.
It's okay to cry.

It's okay to cry.

Ambush

Letting old flames die
in favour of new sparks
itching to ignite.

I'm enveloped by your silence,
slowly beckoning me further from shore.

You're barely illuminated
and I can't look away.

Moonlight

If you read me
in the stars tonight,
tell me so.

    When was the last time
        you opened your eyes?

    Do you think we'll
        see each other in heaven?

Seven other questions
danced across my mind
in the time it took
to read between the lines:

there were never any lines.

I'll tuck away another
pretty little fallacy
my mind contrived
teased by the moonlight.

Immurement

Putting the pieces together,
the full picture begins to take shape.

It's funny how
the things I asked for
will be my unraveling.

I'm parched, drinking poison
out of convenience.

I'm starved for affection while
building walls around
brick by brick.

Hermes

Wreck me
like clock work
passing Hermes

death rattles
two last breaths to beg

oh, she's a mouthful
breaking the chains
before we can begin

Inherent Cruelty

Desire, I turn to you
leave me high and dry until
my mind is just another entity
I cannot seem to find;
it's only feeling,
and it'll never be this good again
so
hold on tight, your breath is right
don't ever let me out of your sight

Walking away evading consequence
your inherent cruelty
leaves me clawing at the walls;
now I'm floating, I feel nothing
but I'm hot to trot and on your tail
so
I'll bite down
just to see if I still bleed

this is the mess you left of me

Thus the World was Created

We're a festering wound,
dragged back together by
blood beginning to congeal.

Follow the thread
to where we began;
I'm losing faith again.

I haven't fed it in days, but
the shadow still remains.
This darkness consumes
eternally.

We're trapped in a loop.
There's no straying from our paths:
yours to me, mine to you.
We're trapped in a loop.

Unpack all thought:
wash it clean in the river
in the caves and
follow the signal.

I'll meet you There.

We're a loose end begging to be tied.

Unchecked Aggression

Little bodies fall.

Help me find the sense
because
I must be missing something.

Silencing pleading screams
with heavy artillery.

The pile grows uninterrupted,
undisturbed by prying eyes.

These small vessels stack so neatly;
reduced to tallies
woefully under counted.

History creeps,
callously picking sides.

No truth to be found
only cruelty;
only only only
the stench of war taking root.

Our minds are cloudy and distracted.