around town.

cityscape stained -
leaving my mark around town.
foolproof futility, and
i can't keep living this way
::
just watching the stars fade.

dead oaks.

i listened intently as
the dead oaks
exhaled your secrets.
i never knew if
a single word was true,
but
still i think of you.

dust.

i found you
in the silence
and dust
you left behind

ghosted.

the moon left without a trace.

rebellion.

The cost of rebellion weighs heavily on my mind.

To forsake this most obvious trajectory,
a simple life of simple pleasures.
Or,
to allow myself to stumble into domesticity,
a death so subtle I doubt I'd notice.

The thought alone shakes me to my core.

silent observer.

reclaiming my role as
the silent observer
you effortlessly obliged
as the observed

all the women i've loved.

all the women i've loved before
each with their own story
their own truth
and than there was me
loving them aimlessly

tash.

found my way back to you
just in time to realize
i'm the asshole.

there aren't enough cigarettes in the world tonight

forget it.

I felt the violence in your words and
beat them back.
Holding on but losing track of
our memories, sweeter things.

It would seem I've forgotten everything.

fast friends.

we crashed,
instantly fusing the worst parts of ourselves
together.
the fumes from our union
were hypnotic
and i found it so easy to overlook
the toxicity.
when you looked at me, I was seen
and the rest of the world stood still.
nothing like us had ever existed
and never would.
we blinded each other.
until
we crashed again.

shine.

mind flooded with temptation
weakness abound
nervous panic sets in
no stopping me now
you stood up to my darkness
looked me dead in the eye
reminded me the key to my light
was to let it shine

swim.

lost at sea, so easily.
I wasn't looking and
let the tide be my guide.
I followed mindlessly,
even watched from above
as the current carried me
out into the deep.
I could probably swim, if I tried
but my arms are tongue-tied
as I continue to follow your lead.
I could probably swim, if I tried
but I won't. Survival's a farce
when I could be drowning by your side.

lila.

beautifully expressed discontent
always wanting that which I can't have
she bares her teeth to me
as I drift off to sleep
she bares her teeth to me
and I accept this defeat

sea animal.

cut that Seattle shit off at the root,
can't take it no more.
i'm left smelling the past like a street rat.
had to find myself waist deep
in another's martyred sexuality
to see what was right in front of me.
i'm a caged animal, freed
clipped wings and no song to sing.
i'm a lost soul, please
wait for mind to stop wandering.

no spark.

gnashing mouths
unappetized
dull & smooth
no spark

the pull.

the gravity
of your weighted soul
keeps me in orbit.
old strength, new beauty
effortlessly entangled.

i'm back.