just for you.

Forcing worlds to collide, yet
surprised by the impact,

you waited under the stars
expecting a sun to bloom
just for you.

no service.

I'm starting to see
all the ways these desires
are not serving me.

new domain.

I can see that you can't breathe
underwater, so unlike me.
My new domain full of exotic prey,
no gravity urging me to new depths.
I can find my own way down.

winner winner.

Maybe it's good for the soul,
we're just a couple warm bodies afterall.
Fingers crossed we make it out
a little less wicked than we came.
But with you by my side darlin',
I'll let the demons win
and call it a night.

tender mess.

Unravel me slowly, please
I'm a tender mess
in love with this sadness
and running out of words
to say so.
I've been romanticizing my distress
for so long
I'm tongue-tied and listless.

if the devil's in the details tonight.

Slowly smoking and
leaving the rest unsaid,
I'll extinguish our essence
through the silence and fading bruises
of better days,
and I swear that I'm the same but
one of these days I just might
learn from my mistakes.
Until then
I'll inflate my meaning,
always needlessly wordy,
and forget what Annie said.

validation.

You're seeking validation
and found me on a bad day;
I'm feeling petty and lashing out,
what's sacred to you anyway?

We're all just bad kids...

rusty reigns.

Rusty reigns
where do I begin?
Boldly unprepared
for whats ahead
as unbridled chaos
calls out for me.

I often wonder
where I find the time...

the evil i know.

Waiting my turn
I can't be bothered to share
in love with another sinner
think I'll grow out my hair
no I don't mind, no I swear
you're all the evil I know
and maybe
I know it all too well tonight.

checking in.

Checking in on myself
I'm seeing stars and
I can't let go tonight.

Double check my math,
something's not right.

She's in every word I speak,
every thought I think
but something's not right tonight.

blaze on.

I get the feeling
you wanna leave me behind,
and that's fine.

Blaze on baby
I hope you shine.

starving.

I wanna give my love to you
and you wanna give it back too.
Rattling bones tonight,
we're taking medicine
with all the bad kids.
Self-destruction in the name
of preservation.
We're starving.

waiting at the bar.

Watched your green eyes
while you talked to someone else,
they said a lot more
than the words coming out
of your pursed lips.

(I'm waiting at the bar.)

overandoverandoverandover.

I'm hitting the wall
over and over
taking note of
lessons to learn
after my carelessly plotted
fall from grace.

It could be any day.

unravel me.

You've become
my singular mission.
All my thoughts
escape to your side,
suddenly at your beck and call,
awaiting consumption
until your adorable miscalculations
unravel me.

totem.

 

 

This is a totem
for my thoughts of you.

I'm thinking of you.

...and dance.

Needlessly stubborn,
I'm saving face by
destroying everything in sight.
Get out of my way,
no solace in lies tonight.
You know me best,
and not at all.
We speak in silence and glances,
broken promises.
I wish I could still tell you
all my sorrows, needs.
Instead I'll waste another night
dreaming of blaming someone else -

(instrumental)

black hole.

I'm rewriting history again,
painting myself the villain.

I was the one that killed rock n roll.

And it's such a shame
but all you need to know:
baby, I'm a black hole.

wings.

If you're the angel, I must be the fool
cos I don't want anything from you
yet I find myself here
wondering what you'd have to do
to lose your wings for a night.

If I say your name in vain
every day for a week or two
would you lose control?
Would you lash out at me?
Swing wildly, maybe
sink down to my level?

I'll meet you at the bottom.

new lows.

I got so high I thought I died.
My body couldn’t contain me anymore.

I evolved. I evaporated.
I was no longer incarcerated
by the mortal coil that
spun me so tight
that I’d die to unwind.

So I
got so high I thought I died,
and I might die again tonight.

derailed.

I'm suffering for fashion,
oh the things we do for beauty!
And now Jenny's in my ear
talkin' bout the bad man's world.
And here we are
chasing elusive meaning
just stringing days together really,
acknowledging the people we used to be
and setting them on fire.
Now sobriety's calling out to me
but I'm too scared to pick it up
and Jenny's driving away,
so I gotta go
derail myself.

style.

Laying low, playing it close;
stop the fucking car!
I’ve been dreaming of running in circles and
you always were so heavy-handed with the wool,
never one to forgive.
I watched you become just like them,
now we’re sworn adversaries.
how stylized

touche.

It's a full moon tonight,
did you see?
Our behemoth satellite on full display
eclipsing expectations with
a well timed disappearing act.

writing on the wall.

At least this silence is purposeful,
unlike my undying love:
convoluted and messy.

I dismiss the lies I tell myself
most of all, even so
I don't think you notice
just how much I'm revealing.

You're my mind's graffiti,
potently illegible and
in desperate need of a cypher.

All the while, I'm
waiting in line
to be consumed by you.

random.

my empty need consumes me
too random to be random
I flock to you from every timeline

statuesque.

State of mind, altered.
As time marches on
I find my statuesque posture
compromised//corrupted
by her gaze.

burst.

Why is it that
when I think of you
nothing feels like the truth?

As though we
lived inside a bubble
and when it burst
everything it ever held
vanished.

And now that you're gone too,
I can't help but wonder
what we ever were at all.

ghosts.

louder now, on the the way out
sounds bleeding through my
ringing ears
screaming, pleading
with frequencies
to never leave
until only static remains

heat seeking.

temptation met by opportunity:
brushing my teeth in strange places/
no feelings to keep me warm tonight
only body heat... foreign sheets.
no love in sight, seeking more heat.

wisdom alludes me this winter.

bird of prey.

She's baring more than teeth to me,
out to collapse a lung.

And maybe she can,
maybe I'll let her.
I'm finding the power in playing her prey.

We're the same breed of beast
after all.

She's blurring my lines,
boasting late nights
and I confess she seems to see me.
But I can't tell if she cares.

dysphoric.

dysphoria hits and i’m strung out for days
drunk on memories, even the good ones fade
so line up the excuses for never feeling quite right
and shoot em down the line
for now another day means another fatal blow
dragging me toward the setting sun
to ignite any semblance of hope

???????.

I'm mesmerized by your question marks,
all the things I want to know...

impossible colour.

the distance between
that person and me
everything I've wanted to be
the impossible colour will destroy me

mtmm.

more than mildly manic;

I got stoned in the shower/
found your resonant frequency.
your beacon was
calling out to me.

pity.

infected my mind like a parasite
I can't seem to shake you
you've burrowed into me
inexplicably, and
my brand of bravery
is shying away tonight
weakness on full display
pity me

mildly manic.

mildly manic, I'm
escaping temptation
by skating social niceties/
laying low
praying not to be found.
maybe I'm smiling, I don't know.
the mirror's in love with me
and I'm in no state for company.

to the wind.

flying hands meet
foreign skin
throwing smooth introductions
to the wind

consume.

craving the consumption
fill me right up
something in my soul feels empty
another hole to fill
what's left of self control
when the hunger takes over

ssl.

Can't settle down,
won't settle in
following heart in circles
here it goes again.
Silly little libra
always aiming to please
unbury your head
and pick up your feet.

nym.

I don't wanna be remembered,
spit my name back out
'n leave it on the ground.

don't.

my hungry eyes
stay awake for days
pleading with memories
don't go.

I found myself
at your feet
begging for scraps
don't go.

tunnel vision.

:tunnel vision:
follow my eyes.
your lips are
the only currency
I recognize.
I like our little ritual;
lust telling no lies.

time winds down.

I know it's wrong
to ask you this
every night,
but my tongue
is not my own
and my skin crawls
watching the clock
we set together
wind down.

Our limbs and tongues tie,
I'm driving this home tonight.

We used to find answers
in each other's arms,
a common pulse
beating back time.

Now we find ourselves
stuck in the give and take
of time spent apart.
And now we find ourselves
in different time zones,
worlds apart.

river runs.

It's getting easy lying,
dying the water black.
I watched the leopard get its spots
then peel them back.
That light, everlasting,
dances toward the trees
sparking fear in the Natives.

my kind of hell.

what a shit hole.

can't say I mind darling
with you
and these walls
we've got plenty of wine
who needs money
we've got plenty of wine

wipe that
stupid grin off your face
we're both slumming tonight
barricading the door
no love in sight
I don't mind
slumming tonight

this is your comeback baby
and I'm the jealous type
you've got lovely legs
and I'll say it twice
you've got lovely legs
and I'm the jealous type

shhhhh.

holding tight your mouth
to sever the meaning
escaping your lips.
I'll bite them off
to keep our secrets true

artistic temperament.

otherworldly scrutiny
breaches my limber
train of thought
inking infinity
and intimately doubting my
lyrical attempt at survival.

electric flesh.

to think that
what I am is
what stares back at me,
an empty/full repository:

electric flesh
bones
and memories - 

how chilling.

elephant graveyard.

History repeats
as we lie among the ruins.
I'd forgotten what was
buried here.
My unearthed transgressions
illuminate past dalliances
and suddenly I see
history is repeating,
leading me
to where my thoughts scattered
long ago.

bellevue, wa.

her electricity
scrambles my frequency
and together we laugh
at the sun's futility.

we feel the pull
but
we feel nothing
and tomorrow's another
wasted day.

You/I.

for You, i transform
something into nothing
and trespass into
the sinful unforeseen.
for You, i think
of burning rubber and ashtrays
and always
keep track of the nearest exit.
for You, i stain
my teeth with wine and laugh
at their jokes
as we're all slowly dying.
for You, i pretend
there's symmetry in your smile
and lie between my teeth.

 for You, i could
lose myself,

but I won't
this time.

sounds/silence.

the wreckage meets gravity
and leaves faith behind
for the collapsing void
between words and meaning.

sounds and silence
subvert expectations of love
forming under the ocean's surface.

she's a tidal wave
and I drown
from time to time.

nature tyrant.

I gasp for air,
swimming
in the rain.
Beneath my feet
the ground hisses
with my every step
as the trees howl
at my trespass.

This is sacred ground!
Usurper! Usurper!

They call me by name.

periphery.

My uncertainty is a death sentence,
my spurious thoughts prolonging the inevitable.

What if at best I'm lost,
stranded in another's periphery.

My common goals are easily found on the smoker's patio.
(And) I linger,
pervert my every whim.

so long.

Speaking in shortwaves
you say
let's desecrate
everything.
I'm compromised
so I decline,
then play along;
multitudes so long.

the badlands.

You've stolen my words
left me in the mirror
of the badlands.
I don't owe you a damn thing
you croon
as you
haunt the youth.

And I believe you this time.

I'm sitting, waiting
for hell to
rise to the occasion.

But you never do.

tell me so.

Tell me anything, everything
you want me to know.
I'll bathe in your words
if you tell me so.

Your every syllable slowly
breaches me.

I'm standing here gaping,
please,
tell me so.

everything.

My thoughts come in three's
as you scream:
look at me! look at me!
but it's the unspoken
beckoning me.

You've changed your name
twice today
but to me
you remain the same...

And I'm staring;
gaping.

I inhale your everything.

intimate violations.

Seeking another intimate violation,
my skin calls out for you.
I’d rather leave the wound fresh as a reminder
that there’s no coming back from this,
that nothing else compares.
I hate this desire, this ache,
this need.
I feel your absence in my bones.

I don’t know what to do.

shameless.

I see the hurt in your eyes
even as you try to hide it.
You choose your words carefully,
your sharp tongue cuts me up.
As you walk away, you stop
without turning, eyes ahead,
and I feel the burn.
Then you disappear into the dark.
I can’t take back the bad I’ve done
or the deceit I’ve sown.
But I’m addicted to you,
and I shamelessly follow.

shy vibes.

Our full moon eyes eclipsed,
and now I shy away
from the potential we conjured
over many late nights.
Logic enlisted, now we’re back to crushing souls -
meaning delayed, we’re relying on magic
to unlock the depths of tides, but
all our vibes shy away.

2d6.

The feeling is there, I swear,
but something inside
won’t let me see it through.
I don’t want to ruin you, so
slow down fair-weather friend.
We’re rolling the dice tonight,
I’m fighting my nature and
you’re just looking for a fight.

Alisa.

Her words drive me wild.
I'm feral for her -
powerless to her persuasion.
Maybe in another life
our spirits intertwined
or maybe I just
lust after her syllables
in every lifetime.

warning.

Her seduction is real
and I’m back to casting spells
to ward off her spirit.
I leave the blood on my hands
as a warning to others.

whirlwind.

I'm a whirlwind

 

 

and a fraud.

the weakness.

Sacrifices abound,
yours not mine,
but in time I find the flaws
in my reasoning, and
I know I shouldn't
(and won't) ask for
that which I want most.

I pray this isn't
the end of the line
but this time I understand
the folly is all mine.

The truth leaves a mark, and
another lump in my throat.

future history.

I’d stand aside
while you’re winding me up.
Got me geeked and teed feverishly,
keeping track of my feet
by tripping repeatedly.
Whose side are you on, Eternity?!
I’ll weather your more trechered
infinities; bind myself to time always waiting
for the right rhyme to strike and knowing
it’ll be the death of me.
I’m currently possessed by my
selfish selflessness,
trying to pry decisions
from my muted tongue.
History’s a bitch, but I
think I’ll let it slide this time alongside
the most wishful of my thinking:

leave all the best things unsaid.

the haunting.

phantom feelings
/future memories
/slivers of time

lost and unlocked,
haunt me

implications of language.

My words burn, spewing lava.
The implications of language;
speaking in tongues, I'm
sending secret incantations your way.
(second degree burns)

strange desire.

This city’s growing jungles in my eyes
as my feverlust intensifies.

Lay down for me.

I’m the product of my impatience,
approaching heaven,
and I’m on the hunt again.
I’ll simply destroy you.

This city will be ash in the wake of your destruction.

communion.

You’re speaking in tongues again,
or maybe that’s me
defying the defined and fleeing sanity.
I’ve been communing with the dead
and we all seem to agree:
I’m not really sleeping.
I’ve carved a nest for myself
in your hallowed tree, and now
I’m waiting for the weather to forsake me.
You’ve never been on your own long
so you take in stride my every absurdity.

There’s a spark in your eyes tempting me.

crystal eyes.

Sometimes even destruction
is an act of love,
you spew as you
crystalize my insides.
You make it rain diamonds
and I’m afraid to blink.

clean.

Your sweetness is lost on me.
I'm used to
the soot we spill
and the bile
we pass back and forth
between our dirty mouths.

But
your mouth always seems so clean
at the end.

flat enchantments.

Suddenly dispossessed,
you don’t wanna read minds.
What you saw in me so dark,
together we crossed a sacred line.
Mumbling spells under your breath,
but I won’t pretend this time.
When your enchantments fall flat,
I won’t tell you my crimes.

Theseus' ship.

Sweat and tears wasted on
youthful indiscretions,
unnecessary devastation.
This blood on my hands is my own!

I'm a sinking ship, here I go:
my unwavering affinity
for treachery leaves me
ever so lost at sea.
But I swear, there's
virtue in this self defeat!

I'm flying black sails forevermore.

the monolith.

I've been skeptical of your invasion
since day one.
Maybe I'm the real intruder, and
there's divinity in the mystery of
our misery.

I've been dreaming of you
one letter at a time.

Tell me what this means:
We met at the monolith
then went our separate ways
forever.
Your tears were gone and
you were holding your own hands,
reaching out for me.

I haven't seen the moon since
that night I
plucked it from the sky.

What have I done this time?

ariadne.

What if I told you we were
connected by a tether, forever -
a link to bridge the gap between
two stars
destined to be together.
I feel it tugging
me toward you, my true North
guiding me through the dark.
I've spent years denying my body
could know exactly what it wants,
what it needs. But now,
I can finally put a face
to this ache in my bones,
this shackle on my soul.

dangerous creature.

I’m a dangerous creature,
see my teeth.
I sleep with both eyes open
and rarely dream.
Constantly cunning,
skulking, and hunting.
I breathe fire, baby.
Fear me.

this creature.

I used to like this
proximity to the sea,
but I’m only human and
once Mercury’s shifted
nothing seems to matter
to me.
Watch:
I’ll fight my creature comforts
as the tide retreats.
What use is comfort
to this creature?
I’m crawling out my skin
in hopes that I’m
more than just this husk
and the runes
etched along my insides.
But as the distance grows
between these things,
my mind begins to rot.

poison.

Threats, anger, and danger:
I’ll share my poison, if you want.
I’m flirting with your flame
and you make like
you wanna call my bluff,
but don’t.
Instead you keep saying
you can’t keep waiting
around for me.
And I agree.
My mouth is full of words for you,
but I won’t say a thing.

smallness.

I embrace my smallness.
It has always allowed
me to melt into others
more easily; seamlessly.

the eternal scoundrel.

Under the guise of
plentiful time &
forgetting the importance of
delayed gratification,
I put off what I want
for what I think I need:
Pretty Little Things.

I can't disguise
what this says about me.

I'm sure there's a way
to get out unscathed
but presently
I'm buried in the blackness.

I'm pure ghost rage;
the eternal scoundrel.

i used to dream.

I used to dream about
running away.
the open road.
letting go.
excuses.

I still dream of excuses.

the waitings.

I'm shaking hands with ghosts,
waiting for the present
to banish itself to the past.

These are the moments I’ve come to cherish:
the waitings.

Though I open my mouth,
my tongue neither sinks nor swims.

My mind is a weightless wonder,
my body an anchor.

My body is the anchor,
I tell the ghosts,
and I am the great unknown.

burn me down.

A little birdie told me
you know my destruction sequence,
could burn me down with a single breath.

Maybe you’re the flame that lights me
and I’m the air you need to burn.

You've got me shaking.

dark days.

I painted my calendar black:
dark days.
Your love is pain, waiting.
But who am I to question to fate?

I see you approaching
out the corner of my eye.

the maze.

I can't help but wonder
what it'd be like
to touch your skin
and why
my thoughts always wander
back to you.

I wanted to give you every part of me,
not remembering
to save anything for the way back out.

I've barricaded myself inside your maze,
daring the sunshine to find me.

the season.

We let our flame burn bright,
so fast.

You were my North and
I was your time, together
we bottled sounds of each other
for one another.

We only knew our summer skin,
intimately.

I used to dream of you
until I didn't have to.

I preferred your kisses to the sun,
and I
never would have guessed
I could fall
so fast.

Temptation proved no match
for our stars, aligned.

mystical physics.

Limbs perform
mystical physics
without proper calculations,
and when
heart's not correctly calibrated
these displays
look a lot like love.

curious surgery.

Her eyes are the violence
cutting into my core.
She peels back my skin
to peek inside.
I let her test her nails,
her knives
on my pallid rind.
She's living her
curious surgical fantasy.

And I'm wide awake.

the observed.

As you
watch me
watch you,
who is
the observed?

this lust.

Corrupted mind, compromised
and bloated with images of you. 

I need to stop your every breath
from inspiring me. 

Do you feel exploited by my thirst for you?

I am selfish desire.

To be is to want, and
I know I exist
(especially in your presence).
To build is to break, and
I long to create
(you demolish me).

Am I courageous?
Am I destructive?

Will I ever escape these lines
I've drawn around myself?

My silence speaks louder than my actions:
I am a slave to this lust.

control (ii).

I will allow you
to conquer me,
let you think
you're in control.

flesh n bone.

her gravity*

{a stronger attraction than
previously thought possible}

pulls the flesh from my bones
and I, all too happily,
watch her feast.

imaginary lines.

My mind,
curiously clouded by
your infestation,
dares not dream
for fear of
crossing imaginary lines.
I cling to my wound
with all my might
as I fight off
this lustbeast
calling out your name.
Don't blink.
You're all I care to see.

mirage.

These baby blues are only for you
and each glance is tempting fate.
With my blind desire leading,
I’m daring you to see me -
to sense my wretched incongruity.
Every night I sharpen my tongue
urging these words
to find their way passed my pen,
but as I digress my tone resets.
It’s so bitter sweet as you
suck the air right out of me.
I’m left without words, staring aimlessly.

she knows.

I'm wrecked, passionless,

craving a friend or foe,
one for the road, and
a better mind than my own.

Her eyes in the sky
turn this desert to diamonds
and I feel the heat.
I can't see through this
waking reverie she's crafting
just for me.

I think she knows...

control.

I want you to
destroy me.
Completely.
Leave me in shambles.

You're in control.

pathetic fluorescence.

My eyes stick to you like glue,
there’s no use,
with arms outstretched
you hold all my attention too.

Yeah, okay. I hear it.

But
I’m stranded in this depraved state,
starved for sunlight,
and helplessly captivated
by this image of you I’ve carved
into the surface of the moon.

Every night I howl for you.

the last time.

It feels like I'm outside your window
begging to be let in.

And I swear this'll be the last time
just like the last time before.

I can't say why I can't let you go,
all I know is
if I don't hold on to something
I might just float away tonight.

lady lawyer.

She says that she loves
that I still have dreams.
Bigger things.
And not to tell her,
she can’t afford to be sad for me too.
She’s fortysomething
and always blue.

creep.

my diabolical intentions align
and now she’s singing to me,
feeling the plea of my poetry
as an act of violence.
knows all too well where this could lead.
striped sheets, where’d we meet?
feel so sentimental
ravaging her god-sized hole

busted.

I watch you underwater.
Watch all the little bubbles
float off your skin and breach a surface
I never want to meet again.
It makes sense to hold my breath here,
underwater. With you.
After a moment you
instinctively start to pull me up.
Fantasy-buster.
Next time leave me be.

give/take.

I love fiercely with
my whole body and being.
Loving like that takes
a lot out of a person,
gives a lot away.
I'm looking for someone
who understands this,
who understands love is
give and take
and gives a bit of themself
as they take a part of me.

nirvana fallacy.

Universal clues, slowly deciphered.
I've got my ear to the ground
and my head in the clouds.
I'm waiting for
the stars to align.

It could be any day now.